I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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