But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
