How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
