you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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