We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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