Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
