he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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