Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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