ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
