Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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