i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
