Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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