Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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