We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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