No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
