Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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