This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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