so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
