She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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