tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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