Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
