we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
