she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
