I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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