they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
