he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what day is it and did you see me today?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
