Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
