Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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