So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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