I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
