What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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