From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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