I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
