I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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