You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
