so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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