Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
