Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
