I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
