I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
