I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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