im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
