i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
