I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
