Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
