so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
