I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
