He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
