We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
