She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
