covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
