Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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