just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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