i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
