You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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