I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I lost the right to judge tonight
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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