Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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